Hmmm this is the topic I am avoiding to write on this blog even my gut feeling wanted to do this a long time ago, hehe. Today I decided to write about this topic, I really don't know why. Maybe because I am now at my age of 25 turning 26 this June and wondering why at this age I don't have yet that special someone in my life. I am too private when it comes to love matters, only my close friends know's about me personally but writing this online seems like I am opening now my private life to all of you. Hope I will not regret writing this here in the future,awp!Haha.
For my 25 years of existence here on Earth,haha Earth?? eh I did not experience yet having a boyfriend. It's sad for some and may say that, "How come your NBSB?" NBSB is No Boyfriend Since Birth, haha..I will not be ashamed saying that here. I am not the only one I think who is NBSB here on Earth right now,bitter lang?haha...
Well, I am pretty my friends said and mom,haha and I am not ugly also so I don't know why my status is NBSB,hehe. My life as a teenage years until adult way back in Elementary, High School and College is different from teenagers today for most. My life revolves only at home and school, I have friends but I am not always hanging out with them. After class, I always goes home and study. I had experienced dating also with some guys but it doesn't ended of being together. It always ended of me not liking him or he likes someone else. At my age right now, most of them said I should have a boyfriend already and settle down at the age of 30 something, the pressure surrounds me today especially most of my friends already has their special someone and most of my cousins are married already. The pressure is all over me but hmmm I know I should not. I don't want to settle on someone or having a boyfriend just the sake of being pressured. I want it to be special at the right time with God's mercy and grace.
God has a plan for each in everyone of us and our love life should be written only by Him and nothing else can do that but Him. The last month of December 2013 I had made the bravest and big mistake in my life and never again I would do that. I have spent so many nights crying and thinking about it. Doing the things I not normally do, like writing a very long letter just to pour out all my feelings to that person coz that is the only way I can do it. It came to a point that I totally has changed and my work has been affected. I talk to my close friends on what should I do, and I am very thankful and happy they gave me advises that I soon realize they are correct and I must keep on moving on with my life.
I am really tired of crying and always talking to God every night to heal me emotionally and put that genuine smile back on my face. My friend said it is a "Unrequited Love" the most painful of all, it is very impossible that someone will love me back or like me back like I am to him. So I spent reading, writing, talking with my friends just to forget what happened and I am very glad that right now with CONVICTION I can say that I am now ok :) I believe, trust and placing my hope now only to God to continue writing my love story until that the time will come in His timing that I can meet that person.
I stumble into a blog and found this very nice prayer below:
Prayer For That Special Someone
I want someone who will think about me first when shopping for his Christmas gifts,
and who envisions a life with me in his future years.
Someone who gazes at me as though I were
the most precious thing he has,and seeks to feel my hand whenever I’m not there,
I want someone who treasures each moment he spends with me
each laughter shared, each adventure taken, each lesson learned throughout
I want someone who thinks fondly of me before he goes to sleep
and thinks about me again when he awakes
who finds meaning in what we have,
and who looks forward to all that we have yet to discover
in life, and in each other.
I want someone who sees the real me
and loves me just the same.
I want someone who can grow with me
and who is happy in seeing me grow.
I want someone who can be intimate with me
and yet is strong enough to set me free,
so I can be the best of me.
I want someone who can make me smile,
and who smiles in turn because of me,
someone who can make me a more loving person,
a stronger person,
someone who is neither selfish nor insecure
and someone who will love my loved ones with me,
who will be strong enough for me
when I can’t be that strong anymore.
I want someone who has a life of his own
yet is able to weave it gracefully with mine.
Together we will create a new and more beautiful life together
not that we’re empty without each other
but that together, we will fill up each other’s cup until it overflows.
This is my prayer for that someone,
and may God who knows my heart better than I know mine
grant that which is most beautiful of all!
Credits to the author: Jocelyn Soriano
Till next time :) and hope the next topic about love I will be writing here will be my love story that God has been written all this time.